Monday, July 26, 2010
I think you meant...
Dear Nitwit and trust me, I was tempted to write: Deer Nitwit. Your command of the English language is deplorable at best, but let me try to straighten out this garbled attempt at a story.
People shudder, houses are shuttered
People peek and seek with their eyes (remember the double e, as in two eyes)
It’s waited, not waded unless you’re standing in a puddle
Breath is bated, not baited unless you’re sucking on a fishing lure
You home in on a target (like this poor, unsuspecting girl) but better hone your skills first
Only Jay Z raps with his arms; the rest of us wrap
Her interest might be piqued rather than peaked, though it’s doubtful
Her appetite might be whetted but likely not; wetted appetite involves liquids
Herd is a group of cattle
Rite of passage, not right
Bread is kneaded, people are needed and many are needy, like your character
Pare down the enthusiasm; please don’t pair it and make it double
Everyday as one word means ordinary; as two separate words it means happening daily
Passed is a verb; past is an adjective or noun
A maid cleans; made is a verb
People experience throes of battle, not throws unless a catapult is involved
Poems and songs are composed, not comprised
Scented is the adjective you're after, not sented
And stationary with an a means not moving; stationery with an e pertains to writing material
Please review my notes and resubmit your essay with corrections.