By SusanI've written a lot on this blog about The Angels' Share, the manuscript that began as a seed in my brain back in 2006, and I don't hesitate to make fun of my own rookie mistakes and amateur status as a writer. Frankly, just to call myself a writer without feeling like a fraud is the greatest gift I've ever given to myself. This morning, at 2:45 am, I wrapped up the (hopefully) last round of edits for Brilliant Agent and collapsed into my bed, full of gratitude.
With that said, now I'm going to get a little personal, and tell you about my Big Dream.Back in 2008 when my baby girls were nine and six years old, I was flying back and forth across the country pitching online marketing and custom website design to trial attorneys while my husband also worked full-time and served—along with Miss Kathie, our full-time child-care provider—as the primary parent. I was making money—I had a sweet title, a high salary, and ridiculously generous bonuses. I had achieved success, by American standards. And I was absolutely miserable.
I'm full of gratitude for the past four years of my life. I'm thankful for my choices, and my family, and my friends who helped me get here—those who believed in my writing even when I didn't. It's not been easy. In fact, it's been the hardest and scariest thing I've ever done.
Just like I feared leaving sales. Just like I feared getting on a plane to Ghana. Just like I feared writing full-time and still being able to pay the bills. Living my Big Dream, I've realized, isn't easy or pain-free.