Our Connections

By Pamela

Last week I wrote my mother's obituary.

She didn't pass away but she is quite ill and, being 'the writer in the family,' I assumed the task would fall to me--an honor I didn't want to attend to in the midst of inevitable grief.

A month ago she underwent a procedure that didn't go quite the way any of us had planned, and she wound up with a feeding tube inserted and the inability to swallow. Coupled with several other serious health issues, she lives now in skilled nursing care near her home in Indiana. Fortunately, I was able to stay with her for a period of time in the hospital but had to return to Texas. Coordinating her care long distance, along with my siblings and a case manager (who can't possibly be paid what she's worth!), has created a level of stress in me I've not experienced before.

So, this past week, when a girlfriend trip that had been planned for months loomed nearer, I simultaneously panicked that my mom's health might cause me to cancel (three friends flying here from three different states) and looked forward to a welcome distraction from my worries.

Trisha, Traci, Sonya and me at the Dallas Arboretum on Saturday.

These three friends--Sonya, Trisha, Traci--and I share a rich history, one that began with a book club that started over a dozen years ago. Together we've cried over tremendous loss and heartbreak and celebrated adoptions (four!) and births. It was no surprise then, this long weekend, that we found ourselves talking about and sharing books.

In our book club we read classics such as A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and The Scarlet Letter, popular fiction including A Prayer for Owen Meany and Year of Wonders and one or two titles that no one really liked--ahem, The Corrections. In the eight years since I've moved away, we've shared several titles long-distance (from me: Jantsen's Gift and, of course, Calling Me Home, and more). Being able to recommend books and knowing that my friends are experiencing the pages I've read has helped bridge the physical gap between us.

After four glorious days of shopping, eating, movies, eating, talking, eating, shopping ... it's no surprise, that in the somber stillness of this Monday morning--with my dear friends back in their faraway homes--the church pew that sits in my foyer is stacked with items too large/heavy/breakable to be tucked into suitcases. Among the treasures waiting to be mailed home are books--books I've read and feel my friends must read, too.

What a lovely thing, this sharing of stories--our own and others', some true and heartbreaking; some fictitious that have allowed us to escape, to laugh, to indulge. What a lovely experience, to have friends come to visit and spend time together after many long months apart. What a lovely gift, to know people and to allow them to know you--even your flaws and mistakes and shortcomings--and realize you are loved.

A Writer's Words

By Pamela

As writers, we have limited avenues in which to express ourselves. Unlike an architect who can be remembered by his or her buildings or an artist whose paintings can be admired and displayed, writers are known and judged by the pages they produce. How we choose to be remembered is up to what we put out for public consumption.

Several years ago at the urging of Susan, I read Jantsen's Gift--a story of a mother's grief and her channeling it as a champion for child slaves. Although the story belongs to Pam Cope, Aimee Molloy is credited with putting the words on the page as her co-author.

Image by Josef.Stuefer, Flickr, Creative Commons.

Writing someone else's story isn't a rare concept. In fact, even some volumes of fiction begin with an author's creation of characters (e.g. Nancy Drew, The Boxcar Children, Goosebumps) and then other writers step in to help turn out books to meet reader demand--a concept also embraced by James Patterson who lends his name to brand books by lesser-known authors. But ghostwriting (or co-authoring, if the author gets cover credit) likely prevails most often when a celebrity, politician or person has a story to tell and not the skills to put it into a marketable account. In steps the ghostwriter.

After reading Jantsen's Gift and other memoirs, I became curious about whether or not I might be able to try my hand at ghostwriting. I was already making a decent work-from-home income as a freelance writer but thought this might be an opportunity worth pursuing. So, a little over two years ago, I picked up the phone and called a literary agency with an impressive list of self-help books and personal memoirs. When I asked if they hired ghostwriters, to my delight the receptionist said yes and to please submit my resume. To my shock, a few months later, an agent called and asked if I would like to talk to one of their clients who was interviewing ghostwriters for her memoir.

A few days later, I found myself being interviewed, by the agent and client, to write a book proposal. The following day, the client hired me. Over the next few months, we talked on the phone and I traveled to meet with her in person, compiling pages of notes transcribed from hours of taped conversations. Eventually, I completed a 60+ page proposal everyone seemed to be pleased with. And then I waited. And waited.

Knowing that the publishing business moves slowly, this didn't surprise me. But finally, nine months later, the agent let me know that the client decided to shift her focus back on her career and was no longer seeking publication. Sure I was disappointed, but fortunately I hadn't given up on my freelance work, so I was minimally affected by her decision.

Then yesterday I got an email alert about this client; I had set alerts a couple years ago and neglected to remove them from my account. My client had resigned from her job after admitting to sexual misconduct--a sad ending to a career that had been wrought with overcoming adversity.

I wasn't shocked so much as saddened by the news. And then, to be honest, I was a little relieved--relieved that the project I worked so hard on never came to fruition. Because, as a writer, I'm judged by the words I put to the page. My words, even if it's someone else's story. The story she told me didn't include the news I heard yesterday, even though the incident happened long before I met her. Her story, the one I was hired to tell, wouldn't have been completely honest.

As I put my head to my pillow last night, images of her in the news flashed before me and I pictured this never-released book being part of the story. What if my name was on the cover next to hers? What if a news venue called me and asked did I know? What if ... ?

Today, I sit at my computer with a stack of assignments at my elbow, grateful that my quiet, unassuming life as a freelance writer and wanna-be novelist goes on without much fanfare. It certainly makes me take stock in my work and what my name is associated with. Because, as a writer, my words are all I have.

Meet Susan Poulos - Interview 1 of 6 with the Contributors for What Women Write

By Kim

What Women Write is over a year old and our readers now consist of far more than our collective family and friends. After some discussion, we decided that the time had come to re-introduce ourselves by interviewing each other. This is the first in a six-part series of Q & A sessions, though the posts will not necessarily run back to back. Keep checking back at What Women Write so you don’t miss any glimpses into the lives of our contributors.

At our last lunch, we drew names and I was thrilled to pick Susan Poulos. I've only spent a short time with Susan at last year’s retreat and a few sporadic lunches, but I can honestly say she is one of the people I admire most. Read on, and you'll see why.

Susan, tell us a little about your background – where you grew up, went to school, etc.

I grew up in Mt. Sterling, Kentucky and lived there until I was 17 years old and left for college. The town itself had a population of about 6,000 when I lived there, and the county totaled maybe 20,000 people. My parents--who are retired school teachers--and the majority of my extended family still live there. It was a safe and beautiful place to grow up. I had a childhood surrounded by a lot of love.

I went to Western Kentucky University on a journalism scholarship but bounced around a little--including a stint in England--but came back to Kentucky and graduated from WKU with a history degree.

What was your favorite book as a child and why?

I read everything as a child and, to tell you the truth, I cannot remember one favorite book. I do remember reading encyclopedias late at night. I lived in a 100-year-old house and my bed was next to a big bay window that overlooked Sycamore Street. I could read there with the windows open and the beam from the street light or the moon would give me just enough light to read late into the night without getting caught. In one summer I made it through the entire alphabet of the 1975 (or so) World Book. For some reason I remember that the letter “M” was the thickest volume and the biggest challenge.

What was your first job and what did it teach you?

The first time I was ever paid for anything (besides babysitting) was writing sports recaps without a byline for The Mt. Sterling Advocate, our weekly paper, when I was 15 or 16 years old. From there they allowed me to write fill-in sports columns (with a byline and a headshot). I also life-guarded in the summers at the local city pool.

The job at The Advocate taught me that people will actually give you money to put words on paper, which seemed to me to be the easiest thing in the world. Life-guarding was fun--and working in a bathing suit was great for my tan. Yet my first paycheck for a full week of work at the pool was less than $100 after taxes, and I realized that fun work wasn’t necessarily a good job! Writing, alas, did not pay much better.

When did you first discover you enjoyed writing?

I don’t remember ever not enjoying writing. I was on the newspaper staff from 4th grade forward. I loved reporting. It was a great excuse to ask a lot of questions, and I was always amazed that people would answer whatever silly or intrusive question I threw at them. You are given a certain freedom and authority by saying that you are with “the press.” By high school I was sure I would be a journalist, and was the editor of my school paper--a job I took very seriously.

I must also mention that my high school journalism teacher, Kenn Johnson, was a great mentor for me. When I graduated he gave me an AP Stylebook as a gift, and I still have it today. He always encouraged me to keep writing and to keep thinking.

Tell us a little about your current work-in-progress?

Susan in Kentucky

I haven’t lived in Kentucky for over a decade, which gives it a certain mythical quality in my memories…so when I started writing fiction, it seemed natural to base my stories there. My current work follows the paths of three Kentucky families as they navigate the last century--including prohibition and legal bourbon-making, the civil rights movement, and religion. Not many people know that in Kentucky a Trappist monastery called The Abbey of Gethsemani sits quietly (in fact, silently) right in the middle of The Bourbon Trail. In my opinion it is one of the most beautiful places in the world. Thomas Merton (the well-known writer and monk) lived there for the majority of his life until his death in Thailand in 1968.

As I was researching this era, I couldn’t avoid telling the story of the racial strife of 1968 and the integration of schools during that time. It all started clicking together for me and became a novel instead a series of short stories.

The manuscript is called The Angel’s Share, which is a term in bourbon-making that refers to the evaporation of bourbon as it ages in barrels. One-third of every barrel is empty after full maturation, and the theory is that it’s so wonderful that the angels take their portion. It was an “ah-ha moment” for me when I realized that people are like this too--either sacrifice your portion or the angels will take it anyway--you cannot hide the things you want to keep from the gods! The theme of the book centers on sacrifice and loss, and the amount of effort families put into keeping secrets. It is 80% complete, and I hope to do some major editing and revisions by the end of the year and start submitting it to agents in 2011.

Of all the places you have gone to, which place feels most like home?

The obvious answer is Kentucky, although I don’t think I will ever live there again. I’m also a big fan of Italy – my first trip there felt instantly like home, in a nice and comforting déjà vu type of experience for me.

What book most changed your life?

When one talks about a book changing a life, usually people refer to something that sparked a new interest, or changed the way one thinks or views the world. Yet the book that truly changed my life was Jantsen’s Gift: A True Story of Grief, Rescue and Grace, by Pam Cope and Aimee Molloy. Pam Cope is the founder of Touch A Life Foundation, and I interviewed Aimee on this blog about a year ago on the process of co-writing this memoir.

The amazing thing about this book is that it is the most hopeful and uplifting example of one person changing the lives of others that I have ever seen. I highly encourage everyone to read it--no matter where you are in your life. It’s inspiring.

Tell us a little about the Touch A Life Foundation and your involvement with it.

Pam Cope, the co-author of Jantsen’s Gift, and her husband, Randy, founded Touch A Life Foundation after the unexpected death of their 15-year-old son, Jantsen Cope. Since then, they channeled their grief and resources into the rescue of several hundred at-risk children in Southeast Asia. In 2006 they began working in Ghana, West Africa, in combating child-trafficking: modern-day slavery, if you will, and there is no other phrase for it. The Foundation currently provides the long-term care, education and medical treatment for almost 100 former child slaves in Ghana.

I met Pam after I read Jantsen’s Gift. From there I did some pro-bono marketing work for the foundation for a few months, and now serve as their Director of International Operations. I leave for Ghana September 17 for my third trip there this year. I’ve been on the waters of Lake Volta and have spoken with these children who are currently in slavery. And I have watched them shrink into the horizon as my boat pulled away from them. At the same time, I love the rescued boys and girls in our long-term care. I consider myself extremely blessed to be able to serve these children as my life’s work. I just wish we could rescue all 7,000 estimated children who still work on the lake in one fell swoop. It’s not that easy, but there is hope. And it’s that hopefulness for the future that keeps me going.

Do you see ever writing a book that builds on your experiences with TAL?

Truthfully, no. Jantsen’s Gift is the book that represents Touch A Life Foundation--although I have had many life-changing and amazing experiences with my work thus far...I believe that my story is my own, at least for right now. My life is definitely a work-in-progress!

You’re a wife and the proud mother of two girls. How are they adjusting to this new life of yours? Have you noticed changes in the way they view life due to the things you’ve experienced?

Susan in Ghana

Although I have always considered myself a writer, I was stunned to wake up one day and realized that my entire 15-year career had been spent climbing the corporate ladder and knocking on that glass ceiling. Who I thought I was on the inside was not reflected on the outside, and it was time for a swift adjustment. The best thing about reading Jantsen’s Gift in 2009 and my career change that came with it was the impact it had on my family. Although I am not writing full time, which I always thought to be my dream job, I am still writing. I am instead working a dream job that I never envisioned for myself that is truly changing the lives of some amazing kids in Ghana--kids like Gideon and Comfort and Teiko and Ezekiel.

My daughters now know the names of these children too. The rewarding part is that my daughters are proud of me for my work--which is an amazing feeling. When I was working 70 hour weeks as a vice president of a corporation they weren’t necessarily proud; they just missed their mommy. Now, when I travel, they tell all their friends and teachers about what I am doing. Both of my girls talk about what they are going to do when they grow up now--and it’s not to work their way up to middle management in an American corporation. It’s to change the world.

An Interview with Jantsen's Gift Co-author Aimee Molloy

By Susan
I had the opportunity to have a candid conversation this week with Aimee Molloy, the co-author of Jansten’s Gift. For Aimee, the book was more than her next title, it was a life-changing event. Check out our quick conversation and let us know what you think!

1) Tell our readers a little bit about the story of Jantsen's Gift.
Jantsen's Gift is the story of Pam Cope. In 1999, her fifteen-year-old son Jantsen died unexpectedly of an undetected heart ailment. At his funeral, she and her husband, Randy, requested that people donate to a memorial fund in Jantsen's name in lieu of flowers. They raised more money than they ever expected--nearly $25,000. Pam ended up donating a portion of that money to friends in Vietnam who had started an orphanage. She, Randy and their daughter, Crista, went to Vietnam to visit the orphanage, and it was here that her whole perspective began to shift.

She went on to use the money, as well as her grief and compassion, to start an organization called Touch A Life. First, they worked in Vietnam saving children who lived on the street and were at risk of being trafficked. Then, after reading about the issue of child slavery in Ghana--which, believe it or not, is still a big problem there and around the world--she began to rescue children who had been sold by their parents to fishermen who worked Lake Volta, the nation's largest lake. Now, they have a boarding school in Ghana and have rescued 69 children. While it sounds like a sad story, it's not. Pam is incredibly inspiring and funny, and really puts herself out there in the book. We've heard from so many people, who said Pam's story has changed their lives in very good ways, making them take stock in themselves and figure out what's really important to them.

2) What began this incredible journey for you that became Jantsen's Gift?

The book was actually the idea of Heather Schroeder, a literary agent in New York. The New York Times wrote about Pam's work in Ghana, and after reading that article, Heather knew it would make a great book. She got us together. Pam and I first met at a coffee shop in New York. Our second meeting was three weeks later, at the airport, on our way to Ghana.

3) This is your third collaboration on a narrative nonfiction book, the first, For God and Country: Faith and Patriotism Under Fire, with Chaplain James Yee, and the second, This Moment on Earth: Today’s New Environmentalists and Their Vision for the Future, with John Kerry and Teresa Heinz Kerry. As a writer, how did you gravitate towards this niche?

When I was very young, I used to practice writing by trying to emulate my favorite authors' styles. In fourth grade, I won a contest for writing most like Edgar Allen Poe. Perhaps it was that blue ribbon that set my fate, although I certainly didn't expect to be able to make a living doing this someday. I also got a very fortunate first break. In 2004, I read a story in The New York Times about Chaplain James Yee, a Muslim U.S. Army chaplain, stationed at Guantanamo, who had been arrested on suspicion of belonging to Al Qaeda.

The story seemed fishy to me, and I became really interested in learning more. So I chased it. I was working full-time at a gallery, and doing this in my free time. I interviewed his family, his colleagues and his lawyers. He wouldn't grant me an interview, however, as he was weighing how best to present his side of the story. I was hoping to write an article about his case, but that didn't transpire. That was a big disappointment to me because I had invested a lot of time in it. So I decided to quit my job, become a waitress if necessary, and pursue writing full time. On the last day at my job, Chaplain Yee called me. He told me that he had sold his story to a publishing house, and wanted me to write it for him. Nobody was more surprised by that than I. But I got the job, and it's turned into so many great experiences and opportunities.

4) How has your involvement with Pam Cope and Touch A Life changed you?

The better question may be how has it not. I got to travel to incredibly remote parts of Africa and Asia and interview child slaves, their masters and the parents who had sold them. I never imagined I'd ever get to do that. I've gotten a very rich understanding of how people in other parts of the world live. I've met so many children who have endured so many unspeakable things, and meeting them has had a profound impact on me. I've also gotten to know Pam, who has inspired me beyond belief, and will be one of my closest friends forever. In the end, this experience has taught me that as long as I am fortunate enough to make a living writing, I'd like to be involved telling stories that may contribute in some ways to making a real difference.

5) Of all the travels and children you met while writing this book, who or what location affected you most?

That's a hard one. I think the experience that's affected me the most was visiting Cambodia, where I interviewed young girls who had been working in the sex industry for many years. It was heartbreaking, and two years later, I still haven't fully shook that experience. It's one thing to see children in Ghana sold because of poverty. While that's incredibly hard to witness, I don't think that the intentions behind it are evil. But it's another thing to see these young girls being forced into these situations because men--many of them Westerners--will pay a high price for them. That experience has made me want to explore this issue more and help to tell the stories of girls like those I met.

6) The book strongly carries Pam's voice. What was the process you two used in writing this project?

It was very intense, and it worked so well mainly because Pam was willing to be very open and very honest with me from the beginning. We spent a lot of time talking to each other, and we travelled together a lot too, which was very helpful. It's easier to come to an understanding of another person's voice when it's all you hear for two-week stretches and are forced to share beds, clothes and toothbrushes in the middle of Africa and Asia. She also shared with me all of her journals, which was an act of trust that I will always appreciate. Then we just sat down and went to work. I holed up in a little hut in Bali and wrote a first draft, which Pam read very carefully and made tons of suggestions. We went back and forth several times before we got to a place--and a book--that we both fell in love with.

7) Did you begin Jantsen's Gift with specific goals in mind, or was the goal to simply tell Pam's story?

Elizabeth Gilbert's inscription at the beginning of Eat, Pray, Love reads: Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth. Pam and I read that book at the same time, and whenever we hit a rough patch in the story telling or wondered where we were going, we'd return to the idea that we just wanted to be honest. Of course, this was a much different, and probably more difficult, process for Pam, as it was her life we were delving into. But I think that this, above all else, was the thing that was most important to both of us, and the reason why people are responding so well to Jantsen's Gift. It's definitely something I've always believed in: a book can't be really good if it's not completely, 100 percent, brutally honest.

8) For other writers out there seeking publication of nonfiction, how do you recommend they get started?

I get asked this question a lot, and even after three books, I still don't know if I'm qualified to give advice, because, unfortunately, there really is no formula for it. Some people find going to school or taking classes helpful, but I didn't go that route. I do know that there were many years that I spent talking about wanting to be a writer far more than I was actually writing. The one thing that I do know is that the trick to writing really is simple: you have to write. Write all the time, at least every day. It doesn't have to be a great work of art, or something you even intend to show to anyone. Right now, the best writing I'm doing is in my journal, and it was like that for me for many years.

Once you feel comfortable--meaning you've found your own voice and have overcome all the demon voices in your head questioning your ability or right to write--there are steps you can take to get published. I started very small, with local magazines, which, as long as they exist, are great resources for new writers. Write as many articles as you can, even if you don't get paid. If you want to publish a book, you must get an agent. Publishing houses will no longer look at work unless it is presented through an agent. That may sound like an impossible goal, but there are many agents who will take their chances on unpublished writers with good ideas and a strong voice.

9) What writers and/or works have influenced you the most?

That's kind of like asking me to choose my favorite child! Because I write narrative nonfiction, the writers who have influenced me the most tend to be novelists. Ian McEwan is probably my all-time favorite. I've read Enduring Love so many times, I think I may have memorized it. I recently went through a stage of discovering writers from the 1950s and '60s. Richard Yates' Revolutionary Road and his short stories are works of genius. I'm also drawn to writers who are willing to take risks. The best example I've seen of that in the last few years is Joshua Ferris' Then We Came to the End. Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird is never too far away from me. Anyone who has aspirations to write should read this book. It's a great tool on the writing process, and on working your way through the moments of utter horror and lack of confidence that are a constant and never-ending part of the writing process.

10) If there was one key to publishing a successful non-fiction work, besides solid writing skills, what would you say it is?

I'd love to know the answer to that one myself. While I don't think there is one key thing, there are certain elements that I believe have to be part of anything artistic: as I said earlier, you must be willing to be honest. You must be able to quiet the part of you that judges yourself for even writing, and put yourself out there. Then you must find the right people who are willing to support you. I've been very lucky to work with great editors--people, who I believe, don't get nearly enough credit for all that they contribute to the process of publishing a book. Then when it's all done, you have to just sit back, believe in what you've done, and hope that others want to read it.

11) What's next for Aimee Molloy?

I'm currently working on a proposal for my own book. It stems from the research I started with Jantsen's Gift, and will profile sixteen girls who are sixteen years old from sixteen totally different cultures from around the world. It feels like a big step for me to be pursuing my own book, rather than co-authoring, and I'm excited, terrified, and relying a lot on trust right now.