Feedback

Pam Cope and I greet George Achibra at DFW Airport.

By Susan

Today, I had the privilege of greeting my comrade George Achibra at the airport for his first visit to America.

George is Ghanaian, and has dedicated his life to rescuing children sold into slavery in his own backyard-- the vast and open waters of Lake Volta in West Africa. These children are slaves to fishing masters who work on the the largest man-made lake in the world. Children sold by their own parents out of the dire circumstances of poverty and ignorance. Children that I have come to love, children that we fight for every day at Touch A Life Foundation, where I have the blessing and honor to speak for every day.

Raul on the day of his rescue in 2008.

I will tell you only a little bit about George because I do not have the words inside me to describe him. We sat together this afternoon and discussed his work. While I am here, in Texas, building marketing plans and developing strategies for website development to further the cause for child trafficking, he is there--on a boat in the middle of the night--listening to the cries of children in the darkness, children who are still enslaved, children who do not know the meaning of freedom, children who do not know that they are loved, and that as they cry, we fight for them. He is there, watching Raul, one of the boys rescued from the lake, grow into a young boy with a beautiful voice. He is there, educating children and communities about the evils of slavery. George has made mistakes that he acknowledges. And he has also had great successes in his work as a champion for the trafficked child.

Raul and me in 2010 in Kete Krachi, Ghana.

Today in our conversations he explained to me a new concept he was learning in his Master's program at university in Ghana where he is taking classes. It is a concept called feedback. He described in great detail how you can tell someone the good and the bad of things, the right and wrong of what they are doing, with the intention of making them wiser. Stronger. Better. There is no word for it in Twe, the language of his people. In Ghana, to critique is only seen as a vehicle to tear someone down: to hurt, to show your own power, or to belittle. But the concept of feedback, this amazing way of telling someone something to improve their situation, and to help them, is a new idea to George. He was thrilled with it, this ability to give someone something like this as a gift. The light is his eyes was bright at the idea of it. Feedback.

Today, I challenge you to look at feedback in this same light. As though it is a blessing to you, in your writing and in your life. How can your peers make you better? How can their words shape your choices going forward?

Like George, I am seeing feedback as something new. I was blessed by a writing colleague this week who gave me some very positive feedback on my manuscript. Yet in other aspects of my life recently, I also experienced the frustration of negative feedback, and my ego was checked, my spirit was quieted. I am learning from both of these conversations. And I am choosing humility in both situations.

The choice is ours, you know. To either bask in the positive or to take the negative like a grown up and change what we have been doing, to make ourselves better.

I'm choosing, like George, to make myself better. To learn from mistakes and to take the path of new beginnings. To become a better writer, a stronger voice, and to be a positive influence going forward. Understanding the concept of feedback requires courage, and active decisions. George is one of those guys who gets it--even before he knew the word for it.

As a writer, my heart is open. And as a person? I am taking it all in. Accepting the feedback and working to make myself better.

Are you?

Meet Susan Poulos - Interview 1 of 6 with the Contributors for What Women Write

By Kim

What Women Write is over a year old and our readers now consist of far more than our collective family and friends. After some discussion, we decided that the time had come to re-introduce ourselves by interviewing each other. This is the first in a six-part series of Q & A sessions, though the posts will not necessarily run back to back. Keep checking back at What Women Write so you don’t miss any glimpses into the lives of our contributors.

At our last lunch, we drew names and I was thrilled to pick Susan Poulos. I've only spent a short time with Susan at last year’s retreat and a few sporadic lunches, but I can honestly say she is one of the people I admire most. Read on, and you'll see why.

Susan, tell us a little about your background – where you grew up, went to school, etc.

I grew up in Mt. Sterling, Kentucky and lived there until I was 17 years old and left for college. The town itself had a population of about 6,000 when I lived there, and the county totaled maybe 20,000 people. My parents--who are retired school teachers--and the majority of my extended family still live there. It was a safe and beautiful place to grow up. I had a childhood surrounded by a lot of love.

I went to Western Kentucky University on a journalism scholarship but bounced around a little--including a stint in England--but came back to Kentucky and graduated from WKU with a history degree.

What was your favorite book as a child and why?

I read everything as a child and, to tell you the truth, I cannot remember one favorite book. I do remember reading encyclopedias late at night. I lived in a 100-year-old house and my bed was next to a big bay window that overlooked Sycamore Street. I could read there with the windows open and the beam from the street light or the moon would give me just enough light to read late into the night without getting caught. In one summer I made it through the entire alphabet of the 1975 (or so) World Book. For some reason I remember that the letter “M” was the thickest volume and the biggest challenge.

What was your first job and what did it teach you?

The first time I was ever paid for anything (besides babysitting) was writing sports recaps without a byline for The Mt. Sterling Advocate, our weekly paper, when I was 15 or 16 years old. From there they allowed me to write fill-in sports columns (with a byline and a headshot). I also life-guarded in the summers at the local city pool.

The job at The Advocate taught me that people will actually give you money to put words on paper, which seemed to me to be the easiest thing in the world. Life-guarding was fun--and working in a bathing suit was great for my tan. Yet my first paycheck for a full week of work at the pool was less than $100 after taxes, and I realized that fun work wasn’t necessarily a good job! Writing, alas, did not pay much better.

When did you first discover you enjoyed writing?

I don’t remember ever not enjoying writing. I was on the newspaper staff from 4th grade forward. I loved reporting. It was a great excuse to ask a lot of questions, and I was always amazed that people would answer whatever silly or intrusive question I threw at them. You are given a certain freedom and authority by saying that you are with “the press.” By high school I was sure I would be a journalist, and was the editor of my school paper--a job I took very seriously.

I must also mention that my high school journalism teacher, Kenn Johnson, was a great mentor for me. When I graduated he gave me an AP Stylebook as a gift, and I still have it today. He always encouraged me to keep writing and to keep thinking.

Tell us a little about your current work-in-progress?

Susan in Kentucky

I haven’t lived in Kentucky for over a decade, which gives it a certain mythical quality in my memories…so when I started writing fiction, it seemed natural to base my stories there. My current work follows the paths of three Kentucky families as they navigate the last century--including prohibition and legal bourbon-making, the civil rights movement, and religion. Not many people know that in Kentucky a Trappist monastery called The Abbey of Gethsemani sits quietly (in fact, silently) right in the middle of The Bourbon Trail. In my opinion it is one of the most beautiful places in the world. Thomas Merton (the well-known writer and monk) lived there for the majority of his life until his death in Thailand in 1968.

As I was researching this era, I couldn’t avoid telling the story of the racial strife of 1968 and the integration of schools during that time. It all started clicking together for me and became a novel instead a series of short stories.

The manuscript is called The Angel’s Share, which is a term in bourbon-making that refers to the evaporation of bourbon as it ages in barrels. One-third of every barrel is empty after full maturation, and the theory is that it’s so wonderful that the angels take their portion. It was an “ah-ha moment” for me when I realized that people are like this too--either sacrifice your portion or the angels will take it anyway--you cannot hide the things you want to keep from the gods! The theme of the book centers on sacrifice and loss, and the amount of effort families put into keeping secrets. It is 80% complete, and I hope to do some major editing and revisions by the end of the year and start submitting it to agents in 2011.

Of all the places you have gone to, which place feels most like home?

The obvious answer is Kentucky, although I don’t think I will ever live there again. I’m also a big fan of Italy – my first trip there felt instantly like home, in a nice and comforting déjà vu type of experience for me.

What book most changed your life?

When one talks about a book changing a life, usually people refer to something that sparked a new interest, or changed the way one thinks or views the world. Yet the book that truly changed my life was Jantsen’s Gift: A True Story of Grief, Rescue and Grace, by Pam Cope and Aimee Molloy. Pam Cope is the founder of Touch A Life Foundation, and I interviewed Aimee on this blog about a year ago on the process of co-writing this memoir.

The amazing thing about this book is that it is the most hopeful and uplifting example of one person changing the lives of others that I have ever seen. I highly encourage everyone to read it--no matter where you are in your life. It’s inspiring.

Tell us a little about the Touch A Life Foundation and your involvement with it.

Pam Cope, the co-author of Jantsen’s Gift, and her husband, Randy, founded Touch A Life Foundation after the unexpected death of their 15-year-old son, Jantsen Cope. Since then, they channeled their grief and resources into the rescue of several hundred at-risk children in Southeast Asia. In 2006 they began working in Ghana, West Africa, in combating child-trafficking: modern-day slavery, if you will, and there is no other phrase for it. The Foundation currently provides the long-term care, education and medical treatment for almost 100 former child slaves in Ghana.

I met Pam after I read Jantsen’s Gift. From there I did some pro-bono marketing work for the foundation for a few months, and now serve as their Director of International Operations. I leave for Ghana September 17 for my third trip there this year. I’ve been on the waters of Lake Volta and have spoken with these children who are currently in slavery. And I have watched them shrink into the horizon as my boat pulled away from them. At the same time, I love the rescued boys and girls in our long-term care. I consider myself extremely blessed to be able to serve these children as my life’s work. I just wish we could rescue all 7,000 estimated children who still work on the lake in one fell swoop. It’s not that easy, but there is hope. And it’s that hopefulness for the future that keeps me going.

Do you see ever writing a book that builds on your experiences with TAL?

Truthfully, no. Jantsen’s Gift is the book that represents Touch A Life Foundation--although I have had many life-changing and amazing experiences with my work thus far...I believe that my story is my own, at least for right now. My life is definitely a work-in-progress!

You’re a wife and the proud mother of two girls. How are they adjusting to this new life of yours? Have you noticed changes in the way they view life due to the things you’ve experienced?

Susan in Ghana

Although I have always considered myself a writer, I was stunned to wake up one day and realized that my entire 15-year career had been spent climbing the corporate ladder and knocking on that glass ceiling. Who I thought I was on the inside was not reflected on the outside, and it was time for a swift adjustment. The best thing about reading Jantsen’s Gift in 2009 and my career change that came with it was the impact it had on my family. Although I am not writing full time, which I always thought to be my dream job, I am still writing. I am instead working a dream job that I never envisioned for myself that is truly changing the lives of some amazing kids in Ghana--kids like Gideon and Comfort and Teiko and Ezekiel.

My daughters now know the names of these children too. The rewarding part is that my daughters are proud of me for my work--which is an amazing feeling. When I was working 70 hour weeks as a vice president of a corporation they weren’t necessarily proud; they just missed their mommy. Now, when I travel, they tell all their friends and teachers about what I am doing. Both of my girls talk about what they are going to do when they grow up now--and it’s not to work their way up to middle management in an American corporation. It’s to change the world.