Top ten reasons why being a writer may be harmful for your health

By Julie

TEN:
Everything in your life presents as a possible metaphor. You start assigning potty training, house training, crate training, and paper training far more importance in the world than they probably deserve.

NINE:
You spend a lot more on books than you used to—you need to support your fellow writers, after all.

EIGHT:
You beat yourself up for not spending enough time writing—only to tally up the time you spent agonizing over a plot point in your head and realize how much overtime you earned today. In retrospect, you can afford those extra books! On credit …

SEVEN:
Getting dressed for work means putting a bra on under your pajamas in case the doorbell rings.

SIX:
People are always thinking you're cute and wondering when you're going to get a real job. (I bet Sara Gruen's friends and family are no longer wondering when she's going to get a real job, though they probably still think she's cute.)

FIVE:
People still worry when you talk about the voices inside your head—only you're no longer just paranoid. Now you're delusional as well.

FOUR:
People assume you're free to do lunch or volunteer at the drop of a hat. The best solution for this is to say, "Hang on, let me check with my boss." Then you move the phone away from your mouth and check with yourself. (Refer to number five.)

THREE:
You start referring to Facebook friends as coworkers—sometimes you gripe at one of them for hanging around the water cooler too long or talking politics too much at work.

TWO:
You spend more time naming your book, your characters, and the name of the town where your story is set than you did naming your first child. Certainly more than your second or third. (But suspiciously, the process is much the same—you take votes from your inner circle.)

ONE:
You realize that after long years of wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin', you finally found your tribe. In and of itself, this is wonderful! Unless you start wearing war paint to the grocery store and sending up smoke signals about your word count.

And now ...

Top Ten Reasons Why Being a Writer Rocks!

Start at number one and read up!


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