Wednesday, April 20, 2011

First Loves

by Elizabeth

We got a kitten today, a white scrap of indiscriminate energy who got dubbed Taz (think Warner Brothers) before we left the animal shelter. He has a Mohawk-style toupee perched between his ears, and his ability to rassle with our seventy-pound mutt is what earned him his permanent vacation in our home.

The kids ask if I love him yet. Do I? I don't know--but I will. I know I will.

Right now, though, I am still mourning our black cat with the debonair little white beard who went missing over a week ago. The new kitten's presence is because George needs a companion, and the past couple of hours are proof that the four-legged set are thrilled with the new arrangement. But I have to admit, that's not the only reason we got Taz. There's a bit of magical thinking on my part, the idea that by taking on the hassle of another life, taking on the expense and work will somehow secure the return of the cat that I do indeed love, and miss far more than I probably let on.

It's hard to let go, especially when there is still hope. Since Gomez slipped through the dog door ten days ago, failing to return as he always had before, numerous people have shared their stories of lost cats returning a week, a month, even years later. I haven't given up on him.

I feel sort of the same way about the manuscripts I worked over and loved, worked and reworked and queried and sent fulls and then never saw fly. I haven't given up, not really, not hope. Once in a while I'll see an interview with an agent I'd not heard of before, who seems like a good match for my manuscript. Off the query will go, perhaps even getting one of those requests so like a casual "I think I might have seen your cat" comment--but so far, no dice. Nice rejections, finally, and the admission that this cat didn't have any white on him after all. Or was orange. "But maybe it was him." No, it was not him. But that does not mean he is not still out there, hiding or lost or chowing down inside another house, having lost his collar and just awaiting the opportunity of a carelessly open door to slip out again and come home to his true family, where he belongs.


  1. Oh dear :( I'm so sorry about your missing cat. I hope he will find his way to you again soon.

    Like you I am not giving up on the manuscripts that are still "waiting"- one day, for you and for me :)

  2. I can finally say that my book about my son Sean "Out Of Breath" is finished! I want to thank you all for giving me the courage to take it out of the drawer and finish it, although it was very difficult. I have a question about formatting and Word Perfect, which I'm having trouble with.
    Thanks's been lovely getting to know you and I'll continue to check in and see what you are up to.

  3. Congratulations, Lindsey. Please, please keep us posted as to your progress with it (assuming you choose to seek publication) and feel free to email us if you want to share something more personal.

  4. Yay, Lindsey! Isn't that just the most miraculous feeling?! And scary ... :)

  5. I feel light headed and a little dizzy! It's been such a tender burden to have carried it with me (unfinished) and I hate not finishing things. It was always with me, lurking around. I don't think there was a day in 10 years that I didn't think about it. I would pull it out, get to a part that made me cry, then put it away.

  6. I was reading my blog from the beginning and I realized that I started it on April 23, 2010, when I found What Women Write. Almost exactly a year. As in the past, there were many starts and stops (plus a move from Hawaii). Thanks for keeping me going with your blog!

  7. Congratulations, Lindsey. We are all so proud of you!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...